I, together with some other members of Filipinos for Life, gave a talk today to the Daughters of St. Paul. This was the first time we presented to a big group of nuns (our typical audience were the youth, students, teachers, and other ordinary citizens like us). Before going there, I was really anxious-- I mean, anxious-excited, not anxious-worried. There's just something about nuns, their presence, and their voices when they sing, that brings me peace.
As we started the forum, I was glad to see how eager they were to know more about the RH Bill; maybe they wanted to be more specific with their prayers. (Hooray! We've got more prayer warriors!) Their prayers might even have an economic, legal, medical, and moral aspects, too-- just like the format of our presentation. Ha, ha! But I am not going to write about the RH Bill per se. I've written against it and have argued with those who believe in it, yet I can only do so much. To those whose minds are closed, no explanation will satisfy. So, let's just go back to what happened today :)
When Robyn and I got to the convent, we decided not to hold hands-- for some reason I really don't know. Maybe I still have this trauma from previous encounters with some very strict nuns. One of them scolded me for eating a sandwich while walking. She said I MUST eat at the canteen. I replied, "But Sister, I'm already hungry." She still scolded me and insisted that I continue eating at the canteen. I was quite shocked because I didn't know of such a rule. Suddenly, I felt full and wasn't able to finish my sandwich anymore.
Don't worry, that sister and I are friends now :) She has loosened up. More young people love her now and corridors don't clear up anymore when she passes by. That was a good change. I bet more young women would be attracted to the religious life if they see more smiles than frowns (or poker faces), and more mercy than punishment. I've met some sisters who said they realized they had a "calling" when they found themselves dreaming of becoming "like that sister." Unfortunately, in this day and age, "calls" from Heaven are hardly listened to. Or maybe it's just difficult to hear because of all the noise and distractions around. Hence, fewer people enter the religious life.
It was confirmed over dinner by Sr. Maimai and Sr. Clemence; they said the sisters were growing older, yet there were only a few entering the religious life. They said they were bothered when they saw the inverted triangle of the population in Professor Aliza's presentation. They said they now have a new term for their situation in the convent: Demographic Winter. They jokingly said it, but I knew they meant it. Theirs isn't an isolated case; I've heard of the same concern from sisters of other congregations. Back in second year college, I would have been able to help them increase their population, by actually becoming part of their population. But now, well, err, uhmm...
"It's not yet too late!" said one of the sisters.
"How old are you?" she asked.
"22 po," I replied.
Suddenly there was a glow in her eyes, as well as in those of the other sisters. One of them started counting with her fingers, "23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28... May six years ka pa para pag-isipan!"

Then I told them about my original plan. I was so attracted to the religious life when I started college. I even wondered why most people opted to get married and have their own families, when I couldn't imagine anything better than becoming the bride of Christ. I looked forward to finishing college and becoming a nun a.s.a.p., but one of the sisters (I'm talking about the sisters from another congregation) advised me to take it slow and if possible, to experience having a boyfriend first-- which I did for a period of six months. After the breakup, I returned to the convent, excited to share the sisters the news. They got excited, too. But one of them (she was one of the closest to me) suggested that I experience having a job first-- which I also did. So after graduating and passing the board exam, I found a job... and another boyfriend.
"This boyfriend, sisters, is actually sitting with us now," I said, and then looked at Rob who was seated across from me.
There was silence, and then "oohs" and laughter, followed by, "Pero p'wede pa naman 'di ba?"
We all laughed. It wasn't awkward. Robyn had always been very supportive. He said he was ready to accept whatever the outcome would be-- which, so far, is in his favor. Ha, ha!
Sometimes I still wonder about what could have been if I just ignored the boys and focused on becoming a nun... or if I just entered the convent after that first courtship ended. I think I would have loved the religious life-- really. When I was asked to list down what for me were the advantages and disadvantages of different states of life (religious, single blessedness, married), I wrote there that it's easier to focus on the Lord in a convent. It's easier to remain in Him in there. And nothing beats the feeling of just being close to Him. Outside, there are so many things that could distract us from doing God's will-- so many worldly thoughts and suggestions from people who think only of the temporary life. It's easy to be complacent with one's prayer life, it's easier to sin without having second thoughts, it's easier to stray away from God. It's easier to be a prodigal daughter. But I know I'm not called to do the easy things.
I know temptation will always be around, even in the convent; but the ones I find most difficult to overcome are outside the convent. Is this the reason why I'm actually out here? Hmm... God, ha...
*Sigh* I just can't wait for the day when I'd look back at my struggles and realize that by God's grace I've gotten through them all. What sweet victory... But for now, I hope on...
Right now I may not be able to help prevent "demographic winter" from happening in convents by adding to their number, but I know and I am confident that God won't let that happen-- unless, of course, we humans interfere with His plan by passing a bill that would decrease the population in the country and would promote a selfish, contraceptive mentality (oops, I forgot I mentioned I won't be talking about the RH Bill this time :-P) Besides, it takes only a pinch of salt to perfect the flavor of the soup. Guess it's the same with the salt of the earth.
Here are some other pictures from today's talk: